I have failed as a father...

As a father, I feel like I fail more times than I succeed. I handle situations incorrectly. I lose my temper. I get frustrated. I miss important dates. I am not doing enough to prepare my kids for life. I am not intentionally discipling them enough. I believe if we were keeping score I would be the Cleveland Browns! 

I have learned that the thing with parenting is not the score but the effort. The only thing the score does is make me feel like I am fighting an uphill war that can never be won. My kids don't need a perfect dad. They need a dad that gives the very best effort he can. This means I must put hard work into learning how to be a better dad. I must put effort into being there. I must put effort into what my kids believe is important.

At the end of 2017, I realized some areas I needed to put more effort into as a dad. I had become lackadaisical in my effort in regards to one on one time with our kids. I could have continued with my in-pocket excuse, "Well, I have four kids!" or I could put forward more effort. I decided my excuse was invalid. I made a decision to put forward extra effort.

As most of us know, a decision does not mean results. Many of us have made a decision to change a diet, a habit, or a situation but never changed our actions. I believe one of the reasons for lack of change is the lack of accountability. There is no sustained change without accountability. Accountability is giving people the right and the responsibility to correct us and call us out for not staying committed to what we said we are going to do. So, I decided that if I am going to put forth more effort in giving my kids one on one time I needed some major accountability. So, who better to hold me accountable than the people who it effects the most, my kids.

So, I wrote out a contract that laid out the decisions I had made about my effort as a father and my goals in parenting. I then presented it to my family. I apologized for my lack of effort and GAVE THEM PERMISSION to hold me accountable for my future efforts. This includes an appointment EVERY FRIDAY MORNING at 6am to spend one hour of one on one time with one of my kids each week. It is on the calendar. So, I have to purposely ignore it, cheat it, and change it for it not to happen.

What can you do to put more effort into the things that are important to you? What decision do you need to make? Who can you give permission to hold you accountable for the decision you have made? Your marriage, your family, your dreams, and your spiritual growth may neeed some intentional effort from you. So, let go of the excuses and grab a hold of accountability.